Bisexual people are plain selfish.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
