We got so high we made milksteak
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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