So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
