im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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