I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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