Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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