I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my shit smells like andre
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
