i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
