I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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