Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
