??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize