no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
