Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you never un-have a 4some
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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