If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
