Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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