There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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