I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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