just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Randomize
