so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
