she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
