I didn't shave. On purpose
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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