I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
