Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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