Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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