my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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