Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize