I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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