my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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