'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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