He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Randomize
