He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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