Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
