listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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