What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize