Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
