There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
