Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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