This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
