I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
