She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
