She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
