to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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