I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
