This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
