Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
