You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
