And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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