You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
