the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
did you just send me my own nude
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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