You can't special order awesome
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
