We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
