i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
