Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
