can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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