I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
