so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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