I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
