he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
