she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
