hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
