only if we run a train.
done.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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