That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
