so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
